I talk a lot about being authentic, and having been a licensed personality practitioner with Insights, I understand some of the psychology behind the two faces – the face you wear around the house or when no one is looking, and the face you put on for work and public display.
I’m also however pleased to say that my profile showed that my personality changed very little between home and away … in other words, what you see is what you get! And, you either like me or you don’t and I’ve learnt to be comfortable with either one – “love me, love me not.” 
In truth though, if you wear a mask, you cannot maintain wearing that mask forever. At some point, good or bad, the real you will emerge and either those you’ve been fooling will love the real you or, they won’t like who you really are.
What Happens When You’re Not Being Yourself?
I hope my business partner won’t mind, but I want to use this story to illustrate my point.
I had to liaise with one of our customers a few weeks ago and coming from Iran, my colleague briefed me on how I should liaise with the customer since they’re very serious in the petrochemical industry. Now, I’ve worked as a manager in the Insurance industry, dealing with fatalities at times and I hope I know by now when I should be serious and when I can be a little lighthearted but, being new to the industry, when speaking with the client, I was acting the part of being all serious and sober!
When I got off the phone my partner said “I didn’t mean that serious!” So I replied, “what do you mean?” Apparently, I came across as almost rude! I was shocked to say the least since I was trying really hard to be nice and serious at the same time. Anyway, as she was briefing me on how I should approach the client in future, the hand gesture took over as she said “no matter, just be yourself.”
Well all I can say is, “Thank you Shirin Etemadi!”
“I’m much better when I can be myself!”
The truth is, my business partner didn’t like my mask! And I’m actually quite pleased because it confirmed she likes me! The real me!
And remember I said earlier that my personality changes very little between my home life (less conscious persona or behaviour) to public or work life (conscious persona or behaviour). So basically, when I was on the telephone to the client for those few short minutes, I felt as thought I was being squeezed in a vice! I was under pressure to be the person I wasn’t and I’m so very grateful to Shirin for releasing the vice!
But that aside, the power of great communication lies in being genuine and authentic – the same essential requirements for building great and lasting relationships.
So the next time you’re communicating with someone, inside or outside the home, ask yourself … Am I being authentic and am I being genuine? In my view anything less is hard work and as well as tiring and it will take you off in a direction you never intended going with people you probably don’t like and who don’t really like you.
I’m daring you to start being real.
About Trish Jones
